Motivations

Watching the Olympics has caused me to ponder the motivations behind some of my actions. Athletes speak of "giving their all" or "the love of the sport" as the driving force propelling them to greatness. Some of them, like my favorite Olympian, want only to have "no regrets" at the end of competition, knowing that they did their best. 

All of this inspirational fru-fra made me wonder...what are some of the things that motivate me? 

As a warning, I'm about to be painfully honest here, so for all of you who think I'm a perfect person (all zero of you, that is), read at your own risk.

Sometimes I'm motivated by competition. I do things so that I will become better than my peers. The scholastic system is arranged to perpetuate this motive, and after 18-odd years of studenthood I have learned it well. More often than I'd like, I study for a test with the goal of "above average" or "better than the rest" instead of studying to really learn the material. I don't believe there is anything inherently wrong with the spirit of competition, but there is a danger of losing something precious in the process. Often, I get so caught up in being better that I forget solidarity. I forget that my colleagues will someday be my biggest asset, not just another hurdle to jump. Being part of a team is crucial for the learning process, and group effort has been at the heart of society since the beginning. While I will undoubtably always be a competitor at heart, I also hope to grow into a better teammate, partner, and colleague. 

Often I'm motivated by another's example. I see a successful doctor and I want to study more. I listen to a beautiful musical performance and I want to sing more. I read a good book and I want to write more. I watch an amazing athlete train and I want to hit the gym. Obviously, I do not pursue all of those impulses (especially the last one), but at least for a while I am inspired to better myself due to the dedication and skill of another. What's really fascinating is how these motivations ebb and flow as life moves forward. The drive and determination to follow through with a dream, a goal, or even just a small resolution has to be rooted in something deeper than the idolization of someone else for it to succeed. The day in, day out grind that is required of anyone who achieves personal victory is impossible unless one's motivation comes from within, not without. 

The fear of failure is a HUGE motivation in many aspects of my life. This is an especially dangerous motive because it frequently keeps us from trying new things and exploring our boundaries. Pushing the limits of one's ability is the only way to discover how high one can rise, but with it comes the risk of learning how far we all can fall. There have been many instances in my life where I've chosen the safer path because I was motivated by fear. Once upon a time, I considered a career as a singer. Blessed with a natural gift, I was admired and encouraged to pursue avenues in musical theatre and vocal performance. But I never had the guts to take even one voice lesson. I was so afraid of criticism and disappointment that I never stepped into the spotlight. On the flip side, I had an incredible collegiate career with our top choir, even traveling to compete in Europe with my fellow choristers, but part of me will always wonder if my fear of failure cheated me out of something special. But isn't it our nature to wonder about the past? Getting stuck there is what brings us down and takes our focus away from tomorrow. In the words of Lewis from the film "Meet the Robinsons," we just have to "Keep moving forward!"

Did I mention that I'm also highly motivated by funfetti cupcakes? Oh, and peanut butter M&M's.